We’ll See: Settling Into the Mystery in Living

Entering therapy often comes with a deep yearning for answers. Many of us want to know how long therapy will take, what the problem is, and how we can fix it. We seek assurance that our goals are achievable and that happiness is within reach. It can feel discouraging to leave a session without the clarity we hoped for, and instead find ourselves with even more questions.

It's completely understandable to struggle with the uncertainty that comes with this process. Accepting that some things remain unknown can be really challenging, and we often feel the urge to control or predict what lies ahead. It’s easy to blame ourselves or others for not having the answers, but it’s important to remember that none of us can foresee the future. Even when we feel certain, it's perfectly normal to be surprised by what unfolds.

When we face unexpected changes—whether they are wanted or unwanted—it's natural to feel a sense of loss for what was before. In those moments, it’s common to feel disoriented and unsure, as if we no longer have solid ground to stand on. We might find ourselves questioning our identity and feeling anxious about what’s to come. In these difficult times, we may rush to assign meaning to our experiences instead of allowing ourselves to sit with the uncertainty. Given how unsettling it can be to navigate the space between where we were, where we are, and where we’re going, it’s completely human to seek clarity. However, if we rush to label our experiences as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ we might miss the opportunity to explore the many possibilities that exist in the present moment.

An ancient Zen story that I return to when I am struggling with not knowing is called "We'll See," and it goes like this: 

Once upon a time, on a fine fall morning, an old farmer went out to tend his animals and crops.

At first light, the farmer was dismayed to see his fence had been crushed by a falling tree during the night. All three of the farmer's prized horses had disappeared.

The other villagers moaned in sympathy: "Whatever will you do?" they asked the farmer. "This is terrible," they all cried, shaking their heads sadly, "and right before harvest time, too."

"Your harvest will rot in the field. What will your family eat this winter? How will you get your crop in without horses?" one of the villagers asked the old farmer.

"We'll see," was the farmer's only reply as he returned to his chores.

Later that morning, the farmer heard the sound of hooves and, looking up, saw his three horses had returned! What was more, the three horses had two wild horses running with them.

Soon, the villagers were heard to express their delight at the farmer's good fortune.

"What a wonderful thing to have happen!" the other villagers cried. "What a wealthy man you will be with this new stock of animals!"

"We'll see," was all the old farmer would reply.

After lunch that day, the farmer's son was trying to break one of the wild horses to the saddle. Suddenly, the wild horse threw the son to the ground. Running to his injured son, the farmer found his son's leg badly broken.

The neighbors were soon around to give their opinions.

"What a terrible calamity," the villagers said. "What a disaster."

"Now you really won't be able to get your crop in without a strong son to help you. He will take months to heal. Whatever will you do now?" the other villagers asked the farmer in despair.

The farmer would only shrug and say: "We'll see."

Later that afternoon, military officials rode into the tiny village, with a great clattering of weapons and jostling of horses. Looking grim and serious, the soldiers announced an official conscription. Every young and able man was to be drafted into service that very day.

The farmer's son, having just been injured, was left behind, even as other sons and husbands were taken.

No one in the village could believe the old farmer's good fortune. And not everyone was entirely happy about it.

"Surely the most tremendous good fortune has smiled upon you today," the villagers grumbled. "How can anyone be so lucky?"

But the old farmer would only reply, "We'll see."

The End

I love this story because it highlights how situations that seem 'good' or 'bad' can lead to outcomes that are entirely different from our initial perceptions. It emphasizes that we can move away from constant evaluation and embrace uncertainty. The story illustrates how others may label our experiences but can often be mistaken. Acknowledging the limitations of our control and understanding of what happens can be frightening, yet it can also be liberating and open up possibilities beyond our imagination.

What if we settled into a 'we'll see' mindset instead of jumping to conclusions? What would it feel like to be in that place? What aspects of ourselves could we shed, let go of, or shift? While it may be challenging, could it also be freeing? What if the mysteries of life became a source of wonder rather than anxiety and fear? What if the process of questioning led to growth instead of simply seeking answers? I invite you to think of a time when you assumed something was 'good' or 'bad,' only to be surprised by the reality. If you're having trouble coming up with an example, here's one from one of my favorite bloggers (who is also an actor and musician), Josh Randor: [Read Blog].

Life isn't something we need to solve; instead, it's something to be experienced.