Therapeutic Boundaries - What are they and why do we need them in therapy?

I've observed that summer and autumn are two seasons when we often experience significant transitions. These changes aren’t just about the shifting weather; they also reflect meaningful shifts in our lives. Whether it’s finishing school and starting a new job, adjusting to a new schedule, moving to a different city, or spending quality time with friends and family, it can feel like a whirlwind of activity. With so much going on, it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed—both practically and emotionally.

These transitions often lead to more breaks, cancellations, and missed appointments in therapy. Such occurrences can impact the therapeutic work we’re doing together, and create valuable opportunities to explore how these changes affect us. This is where therapeutic boundaries come into play; they are essential for revealing insights about ourselves and our relationships with others. You might be asking yourself, “What are therapeutic boundaries, and why are they so important?”

Think of therapeutic boundaries as the foundation that supports the therapeutic relationship. Just like personal boundaries, these professional guidelines help define the parameters necessary for meeting your needs as a client. Your therapist is dedicated to maintaining these boundaries, no matter how challenging that may sometimes be. By doing so, they ensure that your best interests remain at the heart of the work you are engaged in together. However, I understand that it may not always feel that way from your perspective.

You might find yourself questioning why your therapist insists on payment for missed appointments, despite having a valid reason for being unable to attend. It’s frustrating when a therapist needs to cancel or take time off. Learning to appreciate the importance of starting and finishing sessions punctually can initially be challenging. You may even be curious about your therapist’s life and feel disappointed that you can’t know more about them. These feelings you experience are completely valid and offer important insights into how you perceive boundaries.

Here are some of the reasons why these therapeutic boundaries are so important.

1. Consistency and Predictability: Knowing that your sessions will occur at the same time each week can create a comforting sense of safety and trust in the therapeutic relationship. This consistency can be especially healing for those who have experienced chaos in their environment or didn’t know what to expect growing up.

2. Understanding Power Dynamics: The therapeutic relationship is unbalanced due to the authority inherent in the therapist's role. They have access to intimate details, expert knowledge, and the ability to influence your decisions. Boundaries play a protective role against potential misuses of power, helping to maintain a healthy distance that empowers you to take charge of your own life and choices.

3. Protection Against Dependency: It’s common to fear therapy due to worries about becoming too reliant on your therapist. Co-dependency can arise when boundaries are unclear or not respected. However, these boundaries actually serve as a model for what healthy relationships look like. A therapist’s limited availability is not indicative of a lack of care; in fact, it often comes from a place of deep concern for your growth. A vital aspect of therapy is learning how to regulate your emotions, seek support independently, and navigate difficult feelings. While the consequences of boundary violations may feel harsh, they can also prompt you to engage more actively in your healing process.

4. Safety in Therapy: Feeling safe is essential for the most effective therapeutic experience. Boundaries help create a safe space for you to explore your feelings and experiences. However, it’s important to acknowledge that you may not always feel safe, and if this is the case, it’s crucial to communicate those feelings to your therapist.

5. Adhering to Ethical Standards: Therapists are governed by codes of ethics and regulations that vary by location and organization. These guidelines are designed to protect you and other clients from any potential malpractice. Your therapist should inform you on which ethical standards they adhere to in their practice.

6. Cultural Sensitivity: Expectations, customs, and values differ from country to country, and therefore, the judging of appropriate boundaries may vary. Some boundaries may shift to account for these differences so that the therapist is more person-centred.

7. Therapist Self-Care: therapists need to take care of themselves to take care of their clients effectively. It is an act of care and responsibility to clients when therapists are mindful of what they can and cannot offer. It can become an ethical issue when therapists do not honour their self-care needs or their limitations, as it can significantly affect how they show up in their work and the care they provide. 

8. Dual relationships: therapists can't be your friend, lover, or boss because this compromises the therapeutic relationship. Boundaries help maintain the professionalism of the work to safeguard against the therapist's needs being met over the client's therapeutic needs. In this way, therapy is one-sided, and that one-sidedness is one of the most healing aspects of therapy. It helps ensure the therapy remains in your space more than anything else. 

While this list is not exhaustive, boundaries are essential for maintaining the integrity of therapeutic work. Some boundaries may be negotiable, but any changes should be considered carefully and made with conscious intention.

There may also be situations where a therapist crosses boundaries, but this should only happen if it is in the client's best interest. For example, a therapist might hug a client, offer an additional session, or make a home visit; these accommodations are intended to support the therapeutic relationship and the client's progress.

It's important to distinguish between boundary crossings and boundary violations. Boundary crossings are typically benign and intended to enhance therapy, while boundary violations involve exploitative dual relationships with clients, such as sexual or business relationships. Violations also include actions that break laws, codes of conduct, or ethical guidelines.

Therapists may have different boundaries depending on their context, competencies, and therapeutic approaches, and they may negotiate boundaries to better suit individual clients. While some boundaries must not be violated, others can be discussed and adjusted. Engaging in conversations with your therapist about your experiences with boundaries can lead to deeper insights and help establish the most appropriate parameters for your unique therapeutic needs.