Understanding Common Myths About Therapy
Many people start therapy with high hopes, only to feel disappointed when progress seems slow or outcomes aren’t what they expected. Often, these feelings stem from misconceptions about how therapy truly works. Here are some common beliefs and the real truths behind them:
“Therapy didn’t work for me.”
This likely isn’t the full story. Success depends on many factors — the strength of the relationship with your therapist, your goals, and whether the approach fits your needs (Norcross & Wampold, 2011). Research shows that the therapeutic alliance—the trust and connection between therapist and client—is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes, explaining up to 30% of success (Martin et al., 2000). If the connection wasn’t right at the time, then seeking someone who might be a better fit can make all the difference. Sometimes, other aspects in life need attention first, or an alternative approach may work better.
“Talk therapy doesn’t address trauma in the body.”
While talk therapy mainly addresses thoughts and feelings, it is deeply connected to the body. Trauma is often stored not only in the brain but also in tissues and the nervous system (Fogel, 2013; Levine, 2010). Techniques such as grounding, breathwork, and body awareness help process and release trauma safely by engaging the body. When these methods are combined with talk therapy, it can lead to more profound and lasting healing (Ogden & Minton, 2000). So, rather than thinking of talk therapy as only mental work, you can be reassured that your body's responses are also part of the process—and working directly with the body can often enhance healing even further.
“My previous therapist just mirrored me and asked me to notice things.”
Mirroring and reflection might seem simple, but they are powerful tools for building self-awareness. They let you observe how you relate to yourself and others—an important step for change (Bowen, 1978; Siegel, 2012). These insights support practical steps to help you grow. Asking your therapist for specific tools or techniques is a healthy way to take an active role in your journey.
“Therapists only care because they get paid.”
If that were true, therapy would be much more expensive! Many therapists enter this work out of genuine care and a desire to help. While support with finances is necessary, the core goal is to create a safe space where real change happens (Wampold, 2015). The relationship itself—built on trust and respect—is the strongest predictor of success, more than any particular method (Norcross & Wampold, 2011). Supporting your growth is a shared commitment.
“If I’m still struggling with the same issues, therapy isn’t working.”
Therapy isn’t about instantly removing pain or solving everything overnight. It’s about changing how we relate to our feelings and experiences (Jacobson, 2004). Growth often happens slowly as you explore deeper patterns rooted in family, beliefs, and past experiences (Levine, 2010). Progress may look like increased self-awareness, better coping, or healthier relationships, rather than the complete elimination of difficulties. The aim is to develop resilience so you can manage challenges more skillfully over time.
In summary:
Understanding that therapy is a gradual, collaborative process can help you approach it with patience and an open mind. Your journey is unique, and real, lasting change happens step-by-step. Trust the process, be gentle with yourself, and have faith in your capacity to grow and heal.
References:
Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice.
Jacobson, N. (2004). Acceptance and change in couple and family therapy. Guilford Press.
Levine, P. A. (2010). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma. North Atlantic Books.
Martin, D. J., Garske, J. P., & Davis, M. K. (2000). The relation of the therapeutic alliance to outcome in psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 68(3), 438–450. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.68.3.438
Norcross, J. C., & Wampold, B. E. (2011). Evidence-based therapy relationships: Research conclusions and clinical practices. Psychotherapy, 48(1), 98–102. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022161
Wampold, B. E. (2015). The heart and soul of change: Delivering what works in therapy. APA.
Wampold, B. E. (2015). The great psychotherapy debate: The evidence for what makes therapy work. Routledge.
