Getting the Most Out of Therapy

Knowing how to navigate therapy effectively can be challenging. Every individual is unique, so therapy will differ based on the person, the therapist, and their relationship. While there is no single "right way" to approach therapy, certain considerations can help you build trust with your therapist and enhance your overall experience, leading to lasting changes.

Here are some things to consider when starting therapy:

1. Do you like your therapist? It’s important to choose a therapist who resonates with you. While you might select a therapist based on their expertise or approach, if you don’t feel a rapport with them during your first meeting, it may be best to find someone else. You’ll be doing intimate personal work, so a good fit is essential.

2. Expect resistance from yourself. Opting for therapy sends a message that you are ready to confront your difficulties, which can make you feel apprehensive. It’s common for parts of yourself to resist this change in order to protect you. Discuss any feelings of resistance with your therapist so you can work through them together. Remember, resistance is a natural part of the process and doesn't have to impede your progress.

3. Don’t expect to feel good all the time. Sometimes, you may feel worse before you feel better during therapy. This is because the process involves confronting painful and difficult issues, which can be uncomfortable. You might feel frustrated if you don't see quick results or significant insights. However, healing often comes from small changes that accumulate over time.

4. The therapy process can feel mysterious. You may enter therapy looking for straightforward answers to your problems, but sometimes there are no clear-cut solutions. Acknowledging our relationship with uncertainty is part of the therapeutic journey, which often involves accepting what cannot be known and reflecting on the desire to have all the answers.

5. You can always ask questions. Depending on your therapist’s approach, you might not get the answers you expect, but you are encouraged to ask questions. Your therapist can help you explore your inquiries and understand why you’re asking them. Therapy is your space to explore, and it’s better to ask than to assume you know the answers.

6. Be kind to yourself. Therapy can be challenging, so it’s crucial to have self-care strategies to support you before and after sessions. Activities like journaling, meditating, practicing yoga, singing, exercising, or reading can help ground you. If you come to a session feeling activated or stressed, let your therapist know. Taking the time to center yourself will enhance your ability to engage in the work.

7. Consistency pays off. Therapy is a process that requires time and commitment. Building trust with your therapist, getting to know yourself, and practicing new behaviors all take effort. You tend to get out of therapy what you put into it. To see meaningful changes, consistency is key; otherwise, it can lead to the feeling that therapy isn’t working. Recognize any avoidance strategies you may use and stay mindful of them to overcome resistance.

8. Therapy is not just about once a week. While you may meet with your therapist weekly, it’s crucial to apply what you learn in therapy to your life outside of sessions. Just as learning a language once a week without practice won’t lead to fluency, you won’t see significant progress if therapy ends when the session does. Understanding and self-awareness are vital, but they need to be coupled with action for real, lasting change.

9. Discuss your issues within therapy and be open to feedback. It’s common to blame therapists when things aren’t going well, often as a protective strategy. Addressing your grievances with your therapist is one of the most healing actions you can take. This openness allows you to confront relational patterns that may not serve you. The supportive environment of therapy provides a safe space to explore and grow from these interactions.

10. It’s okay to take breaks or change therapists. Therapy is work, and taking breaks when needed is essential. You can engage in therapy as needed, adjusting your frequency or even changing therapists if it feels right. Your therapeutic journey should feel supportive and beneficial, and it's perfectly acceptable to seek what works best for you.